Fat Barbarian_A Humorous Fantasy Adventure by Richard Hedley

Author:Richard Hedley [Hedley, Richard]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humor, dragons, humorous fantasy, epic fantasy, Fantasy, sword and sorcery
Publisher: Perigo Press
Published: 2019-04-06T22:00:00+00:00

Princess Natalie and Isabelle were leaving the school when he arrived. The duke insisted that children attend school until they were at least twelve. It served two functions, one being that education might be important to the future of the kingdom. The second was that kids are useless for farming and such until they were twelve and school kept them out from under their parents feet so they could get on with working.

“Oh, there you are, Uncle,” Natalie said cheerfully. She gestured to Isabelle, a short, stout mousy looking woman with a loose brown bun on head and glasses on her upturned nose. “You know our hero, Isabelle, don’t you?”

She gathered the teacher toward her. They spoke amiably as the three started toward the dead dragon and what remained of Castle Farley

“Now, please tell me what is going on?” Farley demanded.

“Um, sure, m’lord,” she replied hesitantly. “I got the baron to persuade the dragon to let us build a wooden figure in its honor. See, I’ve been trying to build a trebuchet we could keep in the castle and throw things at invaders if we needed to, but it didn’t work very well.”

“What—” he interrupted. Why did everyone think he needed to know their life stories? Things to do, castles to rebuild, a large dragon corpse move. He didn’t have time for any of it.

“Listen to her, Uncle,” Natalie said. She patted him on his shoulder and gestured to Isabelle.

They noticed Baron Gill was walking toward them at his usual brisk pace.

“Oh, I bet you’re busy, m’lord. I’ll make this quick,” she continued. “So, we took the catapult and altered it so it would look sort of like a dragon. Then we positioned it so it would smash the dragon’s head when we set it off.”

Isabelle pointed to the siege engine and the smashed dragon head.

“Like a mousetrap?”

“Yes, m’lord. It wasn’t hard.”

Just then, the baron arrived.

“Highness, m’lord, Isabelle,” the baron said. He always spoke out of turn, but it never bothered Farley. He always enjoyed the nonsense the man could spew. It wasn’t silly nonsense, it was pure logic, but not always based on the facts. Facts can be fuzzy, except when they aren’t.

“The thing I’m missing is how you got a siege engine, hidden in a wooden dragon, next to a fire-breathing green dragon and not have beast get suspicious,” the Duke looked at the two of them and smiled at Baron Gill. “I suspect that part was your doing, Baron.”

“It was easy, Duke,” he replied eagerly. “Dragons are strong, greedy, and vain. I played on its vanity and it let us put the thing beside him, right where he laid his head. I told him it was a tribute to his power and majesty. Then I told him it would be easier for people to speak with him when he desired it, if they were higher and closer to him. I think he was a little deaf. Anyway, we used it to give him some compliments and some tribute, so he liked it immediately.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.